Silent Lucidity

Mmmm Whatcha Say!?

2009-10-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

Guess who finally has her N? That's right, I DO!! It's about damn time too. So nice to be able to drive myself places without having to rely on a family member to come with me. Been doing a lot of errands, which I'm guessing can get irritating, but right now, I don't mind because I like going out on my own haha. Now, my plan is to save up and buy myself a car!

The Gator's challenge that I'm a part of wraps up today after 4 months. We'll find out which one of us gets the $500 prize for losing the most weight/inches. My fingers are crossed. $500 would be really helpful!

Things with Richard and I are going well. It's been almost 3 months now, and I'm so happy. I've never felt more at home or comfortable with someone before. He makes me laugh, gives me incredible butterflies and even challenges me, which I love. We both know things won't always be chipper and happy-go-lucky, but we're committed to each other and to making it work in the long run. He makes me feel so good about myself and that's something I will always hold dear to me.

I took Abbey over to Victoria last weekend to visit some friends and have a fun day out. Had to be up at 6am to catch the 9am ferry and we didn't get home until 10pm. Such a long day, but it was really fun. So glad the weather cooperated with us! We were all able to go to Beacon Hill Park and have a mini photo shoot which was a ton of fun. Abbey loved being able to hang out with some kids her own age. She's such a great kid and I have insane amounts of fun with her. Her innocence is so refreshing at times.

Figured I'd make a quick update before I go and do what I need to do. Hope all is well with everyone!

Update as per Trina's request!

2009-08-24T22:51:00.000-07:00

So, indeed it has been a while since I've posted a blog entry. Over a month! Yikes!

There's a lot of things to post about, where to start!?
Actually, come to think of it, there really isn't a ton of BIG things to write about.

I'm still waiting to hear back from Brookside Lodge. I'm really hoping I get the job. I hate seeing my bank account dip! Haha. If they haven't contacted me by the time they open, I'm going to apply elsewhere. In the meantime, though, I'm going to enjoy the rest of summer.

My balloon ride has been cancelled 3 times now. So much for being spontaneous! Re-scheduled it for September 16th. Oiy!

I've been going to the gym and working out a bunch. Down about 30lbs now and 12 inches or so! I feel fantastic! I love putting on clothes that I feel confident in! People are noticing the difference too which is really good validation for me. I'd like to lose maybe 40lbs more and see where I'm at. Numbers aren't too big of a deal to me. So long as I know I'm healthy and FEEL healthy, the scale isn't too important.

Um, I just found out (tonight, actually) that a long time friend has been diagnosed with breast cancer. It's early and the lump is very small, so there's no reason to worry too much. I think it's just the word "cancer" that's shocking. Her attitude about it is amazing and I know that will take her far.

My Uncle Jay, Aunt Sharon and cousins are moving back in for a bit to save for a house of their own. My uncle has been doing a bunch of renovations which helps my grandparents out immensely. I helped him install some light switches the other week! I did it all by myself and only got zapped once! I was pretty proud of myself. Felt so efficient! haha.

I'm dating the most amazing man in history. I can't say enough good things about him. I'm so so excited to see where time takes us. It's incredible. We had a really amazing weekend just over a week ago. He gives me butterflies so so much! We're going to playland/the PNE tomorrow! I haven't been in a couple years, so I'm sure we're going to have a blast.

Anyway, I hope this suffices, Trina!
NIGHT ALL!!
<3

Ups and Downs! Embrace Em'!

2009-07-15T16:15:00.000-07:00

2 months. Oiy. I procrastinate too much with this blog.
So much has happened. I'm almost tempted to just list it all out.

-The Canucks did infact get kicked out of the playoffs - LAME
-Dane Cook show - AMAZING!! Got handed front row tickets randomly. He's so sexy
-Joined Cloverdale's Biggest Loser - lost 22lbs and 9 inches in a month and a half!! Feels so good!
-Been hanging a lot with Phill - tons of good times.
-We're going on a hot air balloon ride in just over 2 weeks! Should be good.
-Got a rejection letter from Kwantlen's Nursing program - sucks, but I have other schools I'm looking into. Just gotta get my applications out!
-Had an interview at an amazing facility being opened in September! I have a good feeling!
-Failed my road test - so bummed, but I have another one booked!
-So much more confidence in my body lately, meeting more people, going on dates once in a while. I love it!
-Got a year membership to the gym! feels so good to go and workout for an hour each night!

ummm, not sure what else to write. Life for the most part is going awesomely. I just need a job!! haha

Let's reflect a bit, shall we?

2009-05-09T23:16:00.000-07:00

First off, the canucks lost tonight and are down 3-2 in a best of seven series. I'm hardcore bummed. If we lose on Monday, I think I seriously might cry.

Still not working (waiting on some woman to go on Mat leave) so that sucks, BUT, I've been enjoying doing some yardwork with my gramma. I'm having a big backyard party for my 20th if everything in the yard gets done, so that's my incentive. Hurray

Now that that's out of the way, let's move on to better things. I'M GOING TO BE PUBLISHED IN ONE OF KWANTLEN'S ENGLISH TEXTBOOKS!!! I got an email from my professor the other morning. It went as follows:

"Hey Melissa:
I was wondering if you would mind if I used your ad analysis in the course manual for my future sections of English 1100? Of the ad analyses I graded last term, yours definitely stood out as a strong, well-developed study, not just in your class, but in both my sections of English1100. On reflecting on ways that I might better help my future students, I thought that I might offer them instructional models of successful essays that we could talk about in class. Yours would serve very well. I made a photocopy of the essay because you did so well on it. I'd really appreciate having you back in the fall for English1202 as well. The strength of your analytical skills was clear to me in 1100; you have a skill for depth of interpretation that will serve you well in 1202. Do try to relax this summer, though; I know you've been busy.
Cheers,
John"

This made me so so happy! I worked my ass of in that class and it's paying off. My work will now be immortalized in a Kwantlen textbook! My whole semester was awesome. I got all B's and A's in all my classes. Makes me feel really good!

I've been on a couple dates lately and am enjoying getting back into the dating game. Last date I went on was 2-ish weeks ago. We went for dinner in Vancouver and then went and watched the Canucks game. After that was over, we just sat and got to talking for a while. It was decent. We'll see if a second date transpires.

Going to see Dane Cook with my sister innnnn..../counts....25 days!!! I'm ridiculously excited about that. "SOMEONE SHIT ON THE COATS! SOMEONE HAS SHIT...ON THE COATS!"

With the exception that the Canucks might be out of the playoff run come Monday night, life is going pretty well!

RELIEF!

2009-04-03T20:11:00.000-07:00

Finally, I have a weekend that isn't weighed down by a ton homework! It feels good!

I had an english class today until 2pm which was quite dull. I think my prof was in a grumpy mood. He's told our group to be quiet twice in the last 2 classes haha. Maybe it's because he has a crapload of marking term papers to do or maybe it's because his wife isn't putting out enough? Who0o0o knows!

I got my tax return back which was pretty sweet! I gave a nice chunk of it to my grandparents to go towards the money I owe them for school, put some in savings so I can pay my credit card/phone bills for the next little while and kept $150 in my spending account for those random coffee outings or something. I think Phillip and I are gonna go to metrotown sometime in the next week. I wanna buy myself a new purse and get my uncle something for his birthday!

Speaking of which, my uncle was able to get tickets to the Canucks game on Sunday, so he's letting me take my little cousin Nathan. That kid is so into hockey, it's nuts. He knows more stats than I do! haha. I'm pretty excited. I was hoping to be able to go to the canucks/flames game, but colorado will have to do! We're lower bowl too! Row 20, I think!!!

Anyway, I'm off to watch some movies and relaaxxx!

K-K-razy Times

2009-03-31T21:49:00.000-07:00

So, it's the last day of March! HURRAY! Let's hope the weather turns around!

3 more weeks until I'm done my semester! These last couple weeks, I've been silently stewing in a big pot of stress. So much homework and studying to do. So so glad I haven't been working or I'd have probably hurled myself off a bridge by now. I called a couple facilities a couple weeks ago and got a call back for a full time job at Zion. I'd told them I'd be able to start as soon as my semester is over (April 17th...too many finals and papers to write before then), so hopefully they can hold the position for me. I'll be so glad if it all works out. It's a union job that pays $21.37/hr and then benefits after a short "probation" period. I worked it out and I'd be making $1,700+ every 2 weeks before taxes, which is the going rate for care aides right now. My immediate goals are to pay off the $6,700 I owe for schooling and get myself a decent car in 6 months.

I applied for the Bachelor's of Science in Nursing Program about a month ago, and I find out if I've been accepted or not in August. It's gonna be a long 4 and a half months, but I'm confident I can get in. I'm probably going to apply at Douglas College for the same program as well to heighten my chances. After 2 years of that program, I'd be making $27/hr and when I finish, I'd be making $37-40/hr starting wage with room to go up. I'm really excited about my future in nursing. It feels so good to make something of myself! I'm the first in the family to graduate and move on to post secondary, so it's really, really fulfilling.

I recently got myself an iPhone which I totally love, got the highest mark on an english paper, scheduled my road test, hung out with some friends I haven't seen in a while, had a pretty awesome weekend house/dog sitting for my aunt and uncle AND watched the Canucks jump into first place in the northwest division. I'm pretty content with how things are going right now!

Blah

2009-03-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

I'm in a rut. How do I get out!? Life is dull. It has no surprise or suspense. I'm a boring person with a boring life. Somebody hold me!

I'm gonna go immerse myself in chick flicks so I can live vicariously through the love stories.

so, it's 2009...

2009-01-04T17:56:00.000-08:00

It's been a couple months since I wrote a blog, so I figured I'd update those reading on the happenings of Melissa.

I've quit my job at the care home to continue my studies in University. Starting tomorrow, I will be taking 4 pre-nursing courses; Biology, English, Psychology and Sociology at Kwantlen. Come March, I'll know if I've been accepted into the Bachelor's of Science in Nursing program. Keep your fingers crossed for me, guys. I'm hoping that being in school again will give me the chance to meet new people and experience new things. It'll be a busy 4 months, but I'm confident that I can do it!

The holidays just wrapped up and those were fun. My aunt/uncle and 2 cousins came to spend 2 weeks which was nice. I got to take my cousin Nathan to his first ever Canucks game @ GM Place. I kept it a surprise and didn't tell him where we were going until we got there. He was estatic! New Years Eve was also interesting haha. Drunken Rockband with my aunt and uncle lol. I'm not much of a drinker, so the few I had hit me where it hurt haha. The weather this past 2 weeks has been NUTS too. We've had about 2-3 feet fall so far and it's coming down like crazy right now. Oh, global warming.

I bought myself an eliptical machine at the beginning of december too, so I'm quite excited to see results with that. You can feel the difference in your energy level after a week or so. It's awesome.

Not much else is new with me, really. Life is still quite predictable.

hey child, up and go

2008-11-16T01:33:00.000-08:00

So, I've pretty much given up looking for love and romance in my life. Many say it comes slapping you in the face when you're not looking or expecting it, so here I am, unexpecting. I've wasted time wallowing in the past and wondering all the "what ifs". It's gotten me nowhere at all, so, I'm letting it fall to the weigh-side.

Life is interesting right now. Not every exciting, but interesting nonetheless. Still working in the care home I got hired at in June, doing some online courses so I can start my Bachelor's of Nursing program soon. Pretty cut and dry, but I guess I have it better than a lot of people out there, so I can't complain.

I've taken up reading completely random peoples blogs. Creepy? probably, but it amazes me to come across people who think how I think, feel how I feel, wonder the same things I wonder. It's almost relaxing to read daily recaps of a life of someone I don't know in the least ahaha. I've been commenting as well, so if you're one of the unfortunate souls who's had me delve into your personal thoughts, I apologize, and, if we ever happen to bump into eachother and you say "hey, aren't you the crazy person who read my blog?", I'll buy you a cookie. Hahaha

Anyway, not much else to write. Maybe I'll go surfing more random blogs. Who knows.

Live, learn, laugh and love!

2008-10-31T02:53:00.000-07:00

life or something like it

2008-07-16T03:41:00.000-07:00

so, yet again, it's been over a month since I've blogged. You guys need to get on my case! In my own defence, though, there's not a lot to be said.

I've been working as a Care Aide for over a month now and I enjoy it. The facility is only a short distance away from home and everyone there is pretty likeable. I don't know how many of you know, but I'm planning on doing my LPN (licenced practical nursing) next year, but to do so, I need 600 hours of Care Aide work. By the end of this month I'll have almost 200 hours done, so hopefully by october-ish I'll have all my hours and I'll be able to get started on my LPN. I must say, I'm proud of myself for getting this far. Graduation of highschool is rare in my family, let alone graduating from college. My life is on a good track right now, I think...though, it lacks the excitement aspect. I'll have to change that ASAP.

I'm finally 19 now too! My birthday party was such a good time. Oh man. The stories...they're ones for the grandkids for SURE haha. I totally appeciated so many people coming out. There was 25+ people there...so much fun. I've been to bingo a few times and Heather and I have even hit up the casino. I totally blew my $20. *sad face*

Still single, but what can ya do? :P I'm not gonna tire myself out looking for a good guy. I figure if he's going to come along, he'll do it when I'm not looking. A part of me does hope that I find love soon, though. Until then, I'ma LIVE MY LIFE! (Grad 07' inside joke)

P.S- I spent $1300 on a brand new laptop yesterday. My social life will be non-existant for the next month so I can save up to pay off my mastercard haha. Oh jeeze, Melissa.

2008-05-14T21:57:00.000-07:00

1989 - 2008

2008-05-14T20:39:00.000-07:00

By my 19th birthday, what will I have experienced/learned/accomplished?

-a pretty darn good childhood with lots of BFF's
-the loss of an uncle, and dealing with death
-having surgery and staying overnight in a hospital
-graduating grade 7! DC whaaat?
-took a martial arts class for 4 years
-seeing Backstreet Boys X2, Britney Spears, The Temptations, Tim McGraw, Faith Hill, Big & Rich, Emerson Drive, Terri Clark, Shane Yellowbird and Paul Brandt in concert!
-worked at TacoBell for 2 years and learned how to manage my own money
-watched 3 of my siblings being brought into the world
-rode a quad to the top of a mountain (a little mountain, but still)
-learned how to fish, thanks to my uncle and our 4am fishing trips when I was little
-I learned that TOO much saliva is a big turn off in kissing someone
-talked to Aaron Pritchett on the phone!
-overcame my self consciousness about acne
-had to deal with pets dying when I was little
-conquered my fear of scary rides by going on the hellavator @ the PNE
-raised $1100 for the Captains for Kids charity when I was 16
-experienced what its like to have a close friend die
-had about a million crushes all through highschool
-skinny dipped
-cried myself to sleep
-got tattooed and pierced
-walked hand-in-hand with someone I loved...in the snow
-experienced what it felt like to be so sick from drinking too much the night before
-successfully peed in the bushes without it running down my leg while camping
-redecorated my entire bedroom to deal with heartbreak
-got my drivers license (late, but whatevs)
-graduated highschool with a 3.4 GPA
-sailed under Niagara Falls
-traveled to L.A., Idaho, Whistler and Chehalis with my Jazz class
-went to Disneyland
-fell in love
-lost love
-been to a canucks game
-watched team canada win gold at the olympics!
-worked a lame-ass waitress job and told off my douchebag of a boss/walked out of work
-worked through my step-dad's accident with my family
-educated myself on brain injuries to better understand my step-dad
-spent many late nights talking/crying/ranting with girl friends about guys
-had the most perfect kiss. I'll never forget my grad cruise.
-got accepted into college
-passed my nursing assistant program with a 92% average

I'll add more as I think of them.

Catch Up!

2008-05-14T20:14:00.000-07:00

So, it's been an entire month since I've updated my blog. Eeesh. I've had 1 or 2 people say "Melissa, your blogs are too long", so, I'm doing you guys a favour and am gonna make a couple SMALL blogs instead of one big one haha.

Whats up with me lately? hmm, good question. I'm on my 4th week of practicum. I can't believe how fast time has gone. In 3 weeks time, I'll be a certified nursing assistant...and I'm not even 19. I have to say. I'm proud of myself. My practicum facility is in North Burnaby, so it's about an hour long commute each morning, but it'll be worth it in the end. For the first 2 weeks of practicum, I was staying with my great gran in Burnaby. Her house is like a 4 minute drive from the facility, so it was easy to get to, but after 2 weeks, I needed to come home. I love my gran to bits, but working with elderly people all day, then going home to an 85 year old was physically and mentally draining. I needed my friends back. I needed my BED back.

My residents, needless to say, are a hoot. One gentleman asked me if I was going to put his weiner in my salad. Another man told me that his sausages at dinner tasted like spiced erasers. A lady I talk to frequently told me that gorillas were outside her window and another told me that everyone in the facility is a "faker". That they aren't really sick haha. Comments like that make my day. But there are also comments from my residents that really hit home. One of my residents told me she wanted to die, and that she was tired of her life. I can't wait to get my career started, but at the same time, it's going to be hard to leave my residents.

Interesting day

2008-04-09T14:48:00.000-07:00

So, I woke up earlier than usual today. I just layed in bed and relaxed before I HAD to get up and ready. I was like "oh yeah, it'll be a good class today, hurray." Before I get into the story, I'll give you some background. There are 6 caucasian ladies in my class, me being one of them. Throughout the last few months, there has ALWAYS been some sort of hostility going on between a group of me and 2 other girls, and 2 of the other caucasian ladies in the class. We just ignore one another most of the time and go about our business, but sometimes, there are little bickers in class. A couple weeks ago, shit hit the fan, I guess you could say. Yelling, name calling, threats and everything...right in class. There was a meeting held after school the next day for the people who were part of this arguement and ultimately verbal warnings were handed out to them. I was not part of this meeting because I was not part of the fight. The next day in class, people were curious about what the "meeting" was about and were asking. For confidentiality purposes, let's call one girl Jane. Jane said to one other classmate who was inquiring about this meeting "well, I don't really want to talk about it, but I will say that there was one person who should have been at the meeting, but wasn't." Looking directly at me as she said this. It's obvious that she has a problem with me for no apparent reason. Okay, thats fine. We moved on. Now, I was quite sick a week and a half ago. The module that we were doing was only a 1 week module, so realistically, I couldn't miss any classes or I'd fail that unit. I sucked it up, bought a bunch of halls and went to class. I apologized in advance to anyone who got sick because of me, but I'd rather pass my module than worry too much about giving people my sickness. One of my good friends in that class ended up getting sick. Whether she got it from me or her husband, who knows, but, like I did, she sucked it up and came to class. Now, Jane got sick on friday. And missed THREE classes because of it. We're in our clinical skills module right now, so 3 classes is a LOT...you miss a ton of instruction and explanation in that amount of time. So Jane comes back to class today, and no sooner had she walked in the door, she said in a completely rude tone of voice "yeah, I missed three days. I can't help it when other people get me sick" all the while, looking straight at me...again. I couldn't believe she had the nerve to say that. I took the high road and ignored the comment, continuing on with my conversation with another classmate. I guess the classmate that was beside me had heard her comment, and said to me "I don't understand. If she doesn't want to be here, she shouldn't come." It wasn't "talking behind her back" or anything of the sort. It was an opinion that she spoke. So, about 20 mins later in class as we were all getting up to practice patient transfers, Jane, very loudly, and infront of the entire class says to the other classmate "if you have something to say to me, say to to my face. Don't talk behind my back!" Something that was NOTHING, was made out to be something huge in a matter of seconds. This Jane thinks everything has to be about her. If someone isn't facing her, and is talking quietly to someone else, that person is automatically talking about her behind her back. Quite frankly, it pisses me off. I was hoping all the highschool drama would have stopped the day of my grade 12 commencement. Obviously not. I don't know what Jane's problem is with me or anyone else in that class. NOBODY talks about her. She has harsh self confidence issues that she should deal with instead of trying to cause un-needed drama in the classroom. I paid $9,100 to learn, not listen to you whine about pointless crap. Oh man, I need to do some de-stressing exercises or something. *breathes in and out deeply*

Now that I've vented about that, I'll write about my after class adventures today. Steph and I went to visit her nana and baba at their nursing homes once class was over. We went to see her nana first. She has Alzheimers and doesn't really know what she's doing, or who people are. We sat with her for about half an hour, just talking. She is such a sweet lady. Making faces at us, laughing at really small things, singing. It was quite fun. I honestly didn't want to leave. Then, we walked across the street to the assisted living appartments to visit her baba. The whole time we were there, he was telling us about the gypsie's who looted his room and escaped out the window. He then went on about these very quiet people who come into his room wearing lampshades over their heads and rearranging his furniture. There was also 6ft long white dogs walking around his room. It's really upsetting to see people like that, but at the same time, it adds diversity in your day. He is obviously hallucinating these things, so Steph and her family are going to have him reassessed, I think. All in all, though, it was a fun little trip.

Hmm, what else? Ohhhh, I'm excited about this weekend. I'm going to see Paul Brandt and Shane Yellowbird in concert tomorrow night. Row 12 on the floor, baby! Saturday Steph and I are making dinner, having some drinks and watching Forrest Gump! Should be good. Then on tuesday after class, her and I are gonna drive to Kelowna to see her boyfriend for a few hours. My life is pretty interesting, thats for sure.

So, here goes!

2008-04-08T21:49:00.000-07:00

Melissa has a blog! Oh, help us all!
First, I'll say that I'm quite the emotional person, so you're probably going to come across a wide spectrum of posts from me. Brace yourself.

So, what's going on in my life? other than school and hanging out with friends when I can, not much at all. I started my Resident Care Attendant program at Vancouver Career College at the end of november. I have 2 more weeks of classes, and then I'm heading to my practicum in Burnaby. So, for those who don't know already, I'm gone for two months starting on April 21st. Are you gonna cry? It's okay, let it out. I know you'll miss me. I'll be staying with my great grandma which is always an adventure in itself. I'm so glad to have my life on the right track. For the longest time I was so lost as to what to do, now, it's all falling into place and I LOVE IT! I already have a job offer, so I'm all set. I've made a handful of really good friends from taking this program. Steph, Tammy, Agnes, Nadeesha, Natalie. They make class bearable...in many different ways haha.

My social life is dwindling, but I'm hoping once practicum is done with, that it'll pick up a little bit. Heather and I have been having lots of GT's like always. She locked me in her trunk last weekend. Jealous? I know. She's my walking ATM machine. Heather, I still owe you $60. If I die before you get it, you can have my fish. He's a good listener. You could pawn him off for at least $4. Share is moving back here next month and that makes me happy...in the pants! She's been gone for far too long! This summer should hold a ton of good memories. Harrison hot springs, anyone? Oh yes. Heather, Share, Erica and I had a pretty good time at some random park in abbotsford a few weekends ago too. They almost killed me on this flying disk thing that is supposed to be safe. And Erica, you need to not put parmasean (sp?) cheese in my purse! It still stinks like feet! I love these girls. Bethany and I still need to take our puppies for walks together. Damn both of us for being busy medical students!

My love life, you ask? "What love life?" is what I say. Since August 3/07, it's been non-existant! There's been some dates here and there, but nothing substantial. It's kind of depressing, but what can you do!? I've been so busy with school that I'm left to wonder if I could have handled any sort of relationship these last 8 months.

Well, it's 10:17pm. I really should be heading to bed soon, but I'm not that tired. I think I might go make some tea and read for a bit. I've got class at 8:30 tomorrow morning. Should be interesting. I'll keep you updated!

Live, Laugh, Love and Learn <3